Let It Go

Learning to deal with difficult people or situations is one of the challenging aspects of being a business owner.  Helping individuals learn how to prepare for and handle these situations is not easy.

During my many years of experience as a small business owner, I have discovered that one way to handle volatile situations is to accept the individual or situation for what it is. Don’t expect things to change just because you want them to. By acknowledging these limitations, you will be less frustrated. By eliminating the negative feelings, you can be more rational and deal with the situation more calmly.

As Brian Tracy, author and motivational speaker, states, “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” That wisdom is priceless when you’re dealing with difficult people or situations.

Think back to instances with people you’ve had negative interactions with or situations that didn’t go your way. You can’t control how people react but you can adjust your emotional response to it. You also need to adjust your expectations on the outcome. If you’re prepared for the worst, expecting negativity, you won’t be so disappointed when it happens. And if the outcome is better than you expected, you’ll be pleasantly surprised!

Of course, this philosophy can be used in both personal and business interactions. Let’s look at the travel business. You deal with customers all the time who are angry or upset because they didn’t get what they wanted. Perhaps they didn’t get a refund because they didn’t purchase insurance, despite your recommendation to do so.

Before you even talk to one of those customers, you likely know they won’t be pleased with your response. Who likes losing money? So, you just go into it knowing that their emotions will be running high. Be prepared with answers that are logical and factual without letting YOUR emotions play into the situation.

Never expect or intend to change others’ points of view. Put yourself in the customer’s place and expect them to be unhappy and disappointed. If you can help remedy the issues in any way, do so, but if not, hold your own. Be calm and rational, explaining the reasons for the outcome without interjecting your own opinions or emotions.

I have learned to change my attitude over the years as a travel agent and business owner. I recently dealt with a very unpleasant individual. Several years ago, it would have resulted in an emotionally charged situation on both sides. But I expected the response I got, dealt with it appropriately, and moved on.

Of course, you should do your due diligence to ensure you have everything in place to back you up. Get everything in writing with customer signatures included. You can refer to the clauses in the contract to validate your responses when they claim otherwise. Let them know how you conduct business and that you expect to be treated respectfully. If you have a client who is disrespectful or totally unreasonable, it’s okay to fire them.

There is no need or value in trying to convince an unhappy customer that you are right and they are wrong. You’re wasting time and energy trying to change their attitudes or reactions.  All that does is raise your frustration level and it definitely doesn’t lower theirs. Of course, they are treating you unfairly, but why get upset over it? It’s just stressing you out even more. And if you get upset, it will only exacerbate the situation further.

This all may sound like a pessimistic attitude for some; however, it’s more of a realistic way of handling these types of situations. You can hope for the best, but it’s usually the case that these individuals won’t be happy or pleased with your responses because they are trying to change the outcome. It’s out of your hands, so what benefit will it have on either of you to get upset?

So, in summary, be the bigger person when you’re dealing with emotional customers. Listen to their complaints and respond with facts calmly and unemotionally. You don’t need to prove that you’re right and they’re wrong. Trying to do so just adds fuel to an already blazing fire. Expect and accept their reactions and carry on.

Being prepared ahead of time and adopting this more realistic type of attitude will make these situations less stressful for all involved. When you anticipate the negativity and frustration beforehand, your reactions will be calmer. As Elsa sings in “Frozen”, “Let It Go, Let It Go!”